If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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