the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
