I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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