Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
