fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
