I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we're so committed to being not committed
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
