this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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