The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
