What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
