I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
