i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
