i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if only i could text you this smell
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
