my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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