I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
