Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
im on a boat
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