Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
