I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
