did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize