Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
