My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
