Pants 0. Shit 1.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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