ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
