currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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