You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
