Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
