Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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