PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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