question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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