he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize