the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
