she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
