You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
