you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
