life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
