Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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