I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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