I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
