God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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