Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
