Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
