i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
