ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
