Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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