Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
