i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Bring me that man meat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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