I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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