Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just cropdusted the office
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
