You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
