So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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