I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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