I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize