These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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