I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
