Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love you.
Bad choice
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
