I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
