next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
