I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize