Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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